The Heavenly Now

I try not to worry much about heaven.

Its not that I don't think it exists. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. It's more that it doesn't really matter one way or the other.

See, if it doesn't, I have nothing to worry about. All the good I've ever done I was immediately rewarded in gratitude and often with showings of universal coincidences. So, if there is no eternal reward, I won't be bummed or feel cheated. I already got more than I could have ever asked for the good that I did hoping for nothing in return.

And if it does... well, there is still not much call in fretting about it. Engaging in altruism for the sake of perfect reward never set well with me.

Here's the thing. The nature of the afterlife is unknown to me. What I do know, on the other hand, is the infinity that lurks within every moment of now. Hiding beneath every instant, sometimes deeply, sometimes just below the surface, is the eternity of being, the endless ecstatic truth that roars in every direction unceasingly. This infinity may not be endless historically speaking, but it does go on forever in space, and feels, at least to me, to be a perfectly representative pause of creation, making it at least timeless in its uniqueness.

I have lived only a handful of such moments, but I've lived by far enough of them to count myself among the very lucky and make me feel like I have lived forever. At least, lived in a moment that went on forever. It's not exactly an afterlife, no. Its something else. Its a nowlife. Instead of looking forward, its more a matter of inward and outward.

Don't get me wrong. I'll serve the coming kingdom as best I can. I just choose to do it now.